Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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