morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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