we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
