literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
