Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
