He kissed a someone with a penis
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
