i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
