I cockslap morals
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
