Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
