Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
