I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize