best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
