the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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