I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
