I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
