i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
