don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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