You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Everything about him screamed your future.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
