I wish i was in the wii world.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
