I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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