No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
