think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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