yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
