maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
