I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
