But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
