i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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