i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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