I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
