So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
MIDGETS
????
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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