My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
