But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
