You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
