end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
then he tried to convert me to islam
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
