I can tuck mytits in my pants
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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