Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got inside last night via doggy door
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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