hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
