butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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