Define "chronic" masturbator.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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