I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
