I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
