There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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