3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
