Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
