dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
