I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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