Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
