North Korea, Best Korea!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize