dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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