from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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