Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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