we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
