My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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