the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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