ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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