Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize