I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
