You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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