I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize