the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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