But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
