I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
