i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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