After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
