I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
