I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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